Counseling, Female Self Esteem and African American Gays

       The fact that only 2 percent of psychologists are African American is a huge problem for the African American community. It is problematic to try to discuss your issues and develop as an individual when you are working with someone you cannot understand your culture.  An African American male needs to be able to connect with his counselor and feel his needs and world are understood. This explains why so many African Americans would not be seeking psychological help. The areas of concern for the African American male are the erroneous thoughts about their masculinity regarding who they are and also what they do, in addition to economics, employment and education.   

      The African American female has high self esteem and this is due to their social support and self-reliance.  A support network is really important, especially when facing struggles and Black women are also taught to be self-sufficient and not be dependent on a man. As we have discussed in the past, this can be a problem for the African American family.

       Black heterosexual couples and black same-sex couples share the following:

• raising non-biological (foster or adopted) children at the same rate
• black male same-sex couples are raising non-biological children at a slightly lower rate than black married opposite-sex households
• black women in same-sex households are raising children at almost the same rate as black married opposite-sex coupes
• black men in same-sex relationships are parents at about two-thirds the rate of married opposite-sex couples

        I personally don't believe that being gay is a choice. I believe there are many factors involved as there are with being heterosexual. I am attracted to men. I don't have to choose that as for me that is my natural inclination.  Strange bedfellows are anti-gay activists, the black church, and white conservatives.

       

       Addressing homophobia in the African American community, I believe, is a complex issue. As we look at the importance of faith, it will be difficult to convince those who see this as sin as not. I think t we can only hope to bring understanding, compassion and acceptance instead of hatred, prejudice and discrimination through education. Exposing ourselves to others and befriending those who are not like us brings growth and develops our ability to accept our differences and work together. College campuses have opportunities to bring individuals with differing opinions together to get to know each other through projects, educational seminars and discussion groups.

       As we have discussed, faith is a huge component of the African American family, which would make coming out a difficult situation. Being in quadrant four is far more complicated as the struggles and obstacles are insurmountable. To come out in quadrant four would mean taking a huge risk of losing your support system, which would more than likely lead to many more problems for this individual and his/her ability to find success.

       The Homophobia quiz was interesting and I had to stop and truly consider my answers and how I felt. I am not homophobic and I do try to accept others for who they are. I may not always agree with others choices but it doesn't have anything to do with their identity. I think each person is a beautiful creation and should be treated with love and respect.

Building Relationships

      The article "in search of love and commitment" addresses the challenges black men and women have in finding a mate. The shiftless male and dominating female stereotype, I believe could be reshaped by the current media portrayal. We see this image perpetuated by African American films, music videos, actors, and actors. New messages could be sent by encouraging stronger roles for blacks and the elimination of perpetuating the negative agenda.
       Another problem we see is lack of commitment and the high divorce rate. Programs for couples to build their faith as we saw in the video and also the Black Marriage Day initiative are great ways for couples, who are already in relationship, to grow and work together. I think another way that black men and women could connect would be to have a mentoring program to help break down some of the walls we build against the opposite sex.
     
        Looking at the Bethea article, "African American Women and the Male-Femlae Relationship Dilemma: A Counseling Perspective," again draws our attention to the myth of the black male being lazy and the black female being domineering.  Black men and women have adopted these meanings and incorporated them into their lives. Accepting the stereotypes has prompted women to seek higher education, which in and of itself is good; however, it is affecting the marital status of black females.
       The article suggests the following:  1) counselors need to recognize that black females are heterogenous and difference in age and socioeconomic status may modify their position in a relationship. 2) counselors need to assess their readiness to serve black females - and need to be culturally aware. 3) more empirical research needs to be done on black females and relationships 4) integrate research done on black females and males and relate the issues from a single perspective.
       As we discussed with only 2% of the black culture going into counseling, I believe the need for culturally competent counselors is a huge need within the black community. We need more counselors of all races to be culturally competent to align themselves to help black men and women pursue and have successful relationships.

       The anti-intimacy beliefs and slavery:  I think intuition is a big part of how we operate to survive, make good decisions, and building trust. In times of slavery, relying on your instinct or intuition was a big part of survival.  I also believe the belief that having to control everyone and everything around us is a huge part of what was handed down from the slavery movement. Again, that instinct to survive and especially control our world when it is out of control is powerful.

        The article, "Being a man about it: Manhood meaning among African American men. Psychology of men and masculinity," identifies four ways that men distinctly define manhood: 1) Fluid Developmental Process as fluid and adaptive  2) Redemptive Process as offering several opportunities for redemption 3) Proactive Course as identifying barriers or threats to ones identity and initiating positive life actions.  4) Interconnect State of Being of self, family and others.


 

Color, Education and Marriage

       The issues discussed in "The Separate World Of American's Black Elite" such as the shade of black, the socioeconomic status, education, and authenticity of being black are real problems facing the African American population today.  The fixation on skin color still exists; the road to "white aspirations" is paved with judgement from blacks and whites, and the pride in their economic or academic success is still riddled with conflict over being embarrassed by the less successful black brother or sister. The situation remains a battleground as we see precedence in our media for the lighter skinned black model, the wealthier black athlete, actor or comedian, and an obvious lack of notoriety for the black physician, politician, and lawyer.

       "What's Love Got to Do with It" brings our attention to the problems we see with the disparity between the rise in education and socioeconomic status of the black female versus the lack of education and low SES of the black male. This affects long term relationships and yes, many black females are opting to stay single. The problem is not an easy one to solve. I do believe the fact that there are many programs available for young black women, who have children, to advance in their academics and those same opportunities are not equal for young black men, who might have faced difficulties such as parenting or jail. Research also shows mothers are prone to want to be educated as they see their children learning. If the father were living in the same home, would he be more prone to desiring an education? Is the absence of a father figure for young men the biggest problem or is it the lack of positive regard for education among our athletes, comedians, actors, or musicians that prevents young black men from striving for a higher education? And then, the greater question is how will this continue to impact the African American Family?

       "Successful Women Who Are Childless" draws us to the facts of African American women between the ages of 28-55 years old, who are earning over 55k per year and only 29 percent of them are married. The composition of the lack of young black men attending college and advancing in their careers and SES is again compromised as we see the data from Harvard showing that in 1979 the ratio of black female/male was close to even and today it is a significant 9-1 for the female dominating. This is yet another growing concern as we see the decline in options of marriage and hopes for equality in career and SES for the black family.

       Looking at the article "Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn," Holzer and his colleagues cite two factors for the increase in unemployment for the black male:  1) The high rate of incarceration of black males then leads to less opportunity outside of prison and 2) the child support enforcement law has placed young fathers in lower paying and lower skilled jobs which leads to little hope for advancement. In the past two decades opportunities for young black women have increased and the black male has not been afforded these same educational advantages.

      "Annihilation through integration" as seen  in the article "bring me home a black girl" refers to the weakening of the culture and the economy of the black people.  I can see the importance for black parents to instill a value of marrying within your culture to their children.  If all families took that attitude and talked frankly with their children regarding this message, then yes, I can see the black family being strengthened and the marriageability index going up; however, we are still faced with the problem of education and SES, all of which need to be addressed.

Examining Black Family Life

        As I look at the timeline on African American History, there are certainly challenges, defeats, and victories.

       Two events during the Early Days & Slavery period which caught my eye were:  1.    In 1776 the passage condemning slave trade was removed from the Declaration of Independence.  2.  The first Fugitive Slave Law was passed by Congress in 1793, making it a crime to harbor an escaped slave.
These two events are clearly significant in continuing the inhumane treatment of blacks and also affecting their self esteem and hopes for a quality of life equal to the white person.

       Two events during The Building Democracy period were:  1.  In 1867 the founding of 5 Black Colleges, including Howard University which impacts the quality of continued and higher education for the African American to become more competitive for jobs and greater income potential.  2.  In 1872, the first  African-American state governor of Louisiana is elected to the House of Representatives, only to be disputed which had to affect the self esteem of the black family and also prevented representation in government and positive outcomes for representation.

       Two events during the Civil Rights Era were:  1.  In 1957,  The Reverend Martin Luther King helped found the Southern Christian Leadership Conference working toward full equality for African Americans. Today we are still impacted by the work of Dr. King and his legacy for a dream of a better world for the African American people. 2.  The work of Jazz musicians like Miles Davis and John Coltrane were brought to light in 1959 as well as other artists in the Motown Music Label were added such as Gladys Knight and Lionel Ritchie.  These were positive role models and positive images for the African American people.
   
       Modern Times have brought many firsts for the African American and consequently, more positives in their own corporate self image, improved quality of life and positive public image.  Some of these events are:  Dr. Jocelyn Elders becomes the first Black surgeon general and Toni Morrison, the first African American to win the Nobel Prize in literature.

       The principles of the Nguzo Saba, in relationship to the first two eras on the timeline, in my opinion speak to the challenge the principle of being able to maintain and build their own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together. The perpetuation of "slave" mentality was certainly a prohibition of  (Ujamaa - Cooperative Economics) being able to have or establish anything for the future.  The creation of black colleges did promote Kujichagulia (self-determination).

       The Aminfu Harvey article, Individual and Family Intervention Skills with African Americans: An Africentric Approach, draws on the principle of uniting a community (Ujima) by gathering people together in a retreat setting.  The family empowerment component builds the community and draws on the principle of Nia or purpose giving emphasis on parenting and family issues.

       The Dynamic Duo reading by Jamal Watson shows the principles of Kujichagulia (self-determination) and Kuumba (creativity).  The story of this family striving to build the life they believe they can and should have and teaching their children the importance of their heritage through their lifestyle.