Building Relationships

      The article "in search of love and commitment" addresses the challenges black men and women have in finding a mate. The shiftless male and dominating female stereotype, I believe could be reshaped by the current media portrayal. We see this image perpetuated by African American films, music videos, actors, and actors. New messages could be sent by encouraging stronger roles for blacks and the elimination of perpetuating the negative agenda.
       Another problem we see is lack of commitment and the high divorce rate. Programs for couples to build their faith as we saw in the video and also the Black Marriage Day initiative are great ways for couples, who are already in relationship, to grow and work together. I think another way that black men and women could connect would be to have a mentoring program to help break down some of the walls we build against the opposite sex.
     
        Looking at the Bethea article, "African American Women and the Male-Femlae Relationship Dilemma: A Counseling Perspective," again draws our attention to the myth of the black male being lazy and the black female being domineering.  Black men and women have adopted these meanings and incorporated them into their lives. Accepting the stereotypes has prompted women to seek higher education, which in and of itself is good; however, it is affecting the marital status of black females.
       The article suggests the following:  1) counselors need to recognize that black females are heterogenous and difference in age and socioeconomic status may modify their position in a relationship. 2) counselors need to assess their readiness to serve black females - and need to be culturally aware. 3) more empirical research needs to be done on black females and relationships 4) integrate research done on black females and males and relate the issues from a single perspective.
       As we discussed with only 2% of the black culture going into counseling, I believe the need for culturally competent counselors is a huge need within the black community. We need more counselors of all races to be culturally competent to align themselves to help black men and women pursue and have successful relationships.

       The anti-intimacy beliefs and slavery:  I think intuition is a big part of how we operate to survive, make good decisions, and building trust. In times of slavery, relying on your instinct or intuition was a big part of survival.  I also believe the belief that having to control everyone and everything around us is a huge part of what was handed down from the slavery movement. Again, that instinct to survive and especially control our world when it is out of control is powerful.

        The article, "Being a man about it: Manhood meaning among African American men. Psychology of men and masculinity," identifies four ways that men distinctly define manhood: 1) Fluid Developmental Process as fluid and adaptive  2) Redemptive Process as offering several opportunities for redemption 3) Proactive Course as identifying barriers or threats to ones identity and initiating positive life actions.  4) Interconnect State of Being of self, family and others.